Hermes Conrad, the Futurama hexagonist who was born in the year 2959, is a Grade 34 Jamaican bureaucrat who works as the accountant at Planet Express. He doesn’t want to make mistakes because if he does, he might have to go down a grade.
Hermes Conrad: Personality
Hermes works hard at Planet Express and cares a lot about what he does there. He gets along with most of the characters, but he always picks on Doctor Zoidberg (cutting paychecks, attempting to fire him, etc.). He can, however, be kind sometimes, like when he saved a young Bender. Hermes wants to win the limbo gold medal at the Olympics, and Barbados Slim is his biggest rival. He also doesn’t seem to like any of his coworkers, except maybe Fry and Leela.
Hermes Conrad Family
Hermes is married to LaBarbara Conrad, and Dwight Conrad is his son. His wife left him twice, once for Barbados Slim and the second time for Hermes when he lost his body. He stopped his son from smoking one of his cigars, which probably had marijuana in it. He also started an organisation called Fathers Against Rude Television to protect his son from Bender’s bad habits on All My Circuits. In “The Farnsworth Parabox,” Hermes said that his grandmother had died. Later in “Time Keeps on Slippin’,” he says that his mother has died, which makes Professor Farnsworth say that she was promiscuous. Hermes says in The Beast with a Billion Backs that his parents told him he would never be attacked by a monster with tentacles.
Hermes seems to be named after a brand of typewriter with the same name.
Hermes was born in 2959, which makes him in his early 50s. This was revealed in the comic book issue “Bender Breaks Out.”
During “How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back’s” “Bureaucrat Song,” we learn that you had to fill out an application to get into his 10th birthday party.
Hermes is shown to be overweight in several episodes, when it is shown that his skeleton is like a baby’s and the rest of him, besides his organs, is made of fat.
A real pigeon once attacked a hologram of Hermes, which made the real Hermes show up in the next scene with wounds (“Fear of a Bot Planet”).
Barbados Slim took his body, his wife LaBarbara, and his son Dwight during a limbo party in Bender’s Big Score.
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